I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
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I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
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We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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