break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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