I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
