Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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