I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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