why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
