There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize