i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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