i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
