i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
worst night to have a conscience
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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