brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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