Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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