You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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