You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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