I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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