You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
