I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
