And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
