so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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