We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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