So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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