I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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