We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
