Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
