She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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