I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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