it glows. i had to have it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
