are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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