So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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