the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Panties = found
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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