Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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