Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
