Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize