it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
