2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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