need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
