Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize