How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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