Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have aggressive nipples.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
