stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
