You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize