If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
