I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
