I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
