I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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