Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord http://tfl.nu/ym53
  Replies (10) Good night (2912) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart (508): These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work http://tfl.nu/sac2
  Replies (15) Good night (7548) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates. http://tfl.nu/jgwf
  Replies (89) Good night (5880) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week http://tfl.nu/vx1e
  Replies (13) Good night (4936) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on... http://tfl.nu/mq0s
  Replies (42) Good night (1351) Bad night (6712)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1430) Bad night (8784)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7775) Bad night (2209)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want http://tfl.nu/m1hp
  Replies (39) Good night (7146) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea?? http://tfl.nu/j9re
  Replies (9) Good night (2302) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke. http://tfl.nu/ckis
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

  (1-213): View more from California

  best text I've received ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon. (1-213): best text I've received ever. http://tfl.nu/3obm
  Replies (16) Good night (5013) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara. http://tfl.nu/ndct
  Replies (6) Good night (1672) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life http://tfl.nu/q2m2
  Replies (4) Good night (279) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

  (941): View more from Florida

  Oh at the liquor store again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us http://tfl.nu/m7ov
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (236)

Randomize