I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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