look no pants
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
