Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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