Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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