I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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