We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
