He is an equal opportunity slut.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
