so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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