Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
