My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
