the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize