Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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