please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
