Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
