i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just invented taco cereal.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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