I must be too annoying 4 u.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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