So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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